You're mine alone Revisited: Now With Commentary
by AlexAmericus
Summary: This one is incredibly short, and I did this on a whim in between commentaries. This one hasn't been updated in a while, so I'm assuming that it's another one that's dropped off the Earth, but authors have made a comeback in the past while I've been active. Join me as I encounter yet another Mary Sue. Rated 'T' for my sailor mouth as always.
1. Introduction, Summary, & Chapter One

**This fanfiction is not worthy enough for a separate introduction.**

**No joke, it's only two chapters (at least right now *troll face*). And because I'm nice I'll throw in the review that they did.**

**Guidelines: Commentary's in [bold brackets] 'cause I'm obnoxious, rated 'T' for a reason, and I'm a troll and this is my job - get over it.**

**Disclaimer: Any brain cells murdered are not my responsibility, and any references you find are stuff I pulled from my brain unless I say otherwise in the footnotes.**

**Here's the summary too since I'm so nice:**

This is cute, please read. MelloXoc **[**_**That's**_** the summary?]**

Chapter One

Hi please like,leave a review. **[No. :3]** This story took me a long time. **[And it's only 632 words...I'll let that sink in for a moment.]** Thanks :) (My OC is me), **[Therefore it is not an OC, it is a self-insert dimwit.]** but it will be written in 3rd person. Thanks :)~ **[You are not welcome.]**

Vanessa flipped her long beautiful endless sparkling magical red hair **[Alert! Alert! Looks like we've got a Mary Sue, and we're not even finished with the first sentence.]** which kept going on a flow for thousands of majestic winds, **[...What?]** as she smirked. Her smirk was nice and pretty because it could get anyone to fall in love with her. **[Are you a troll? Is this a parody? Are you real? Is this real life?]**

One day Vanessa's parents got killed, **[Cliché. *ding*]** and her IQ was above everyone else's in her school **[Cliché. *ding*]** so Watari took her in. **[Aaaand cliché. *ding*]**

'What a beautiful young girl' **[Pedophilia.*ding*]** He thought as he lead him in the room. People were stunned by Vanessa. Vanessa was sad because she didn't want to leave her mansion **[Take a number and stand in line, I'll call your number when I'm ready to give a fuck.]** though because she was already smart and she didn't need school cus eating ice cream was all she did **[...You should be dead or at least 400 pounds by now. I don't care if you have L's metabolism, you should be dead. At least L eats some fruits.]** and she never became fat because she had a really high and beautiful metabolism. **[Metabolism's got nothing to do with it, it is physically impossible for your body to live of **_**just**_** ice cream. You'd die because your body isn't getting all the nutrients it needs.]** Vanessa's large blue eyes glittered. She went to Near's room as he looked up. Near widened his eyes as he started blushing, **[Who are you and what have you done to Near?]** looking all around Vanessa. Vanessa giggled and kissed Near. **[...Somehow I don't see that happening.]** Near kissed her back **[I **_**really**_** don't see that happening. OOC up the wazoo.]** as she smiled and waved goodbye to Near. **[Aren't you a bitch? Playing with people's emotions and giving them the 'love them and leave them' act.]**

Then at lunch Vanessa went to the cafeteria and grabbed ice cream. **[To which after her first bite she died a horrible death of severe Vitamin A, Vitamin B, Vitamin C, Vitamin D, Vitamin E, Vitamin K, Folic Acid, Calcium, Iron, Zinc, and Chromium deficiencies.]** Then she sat near Mello's chair. Mello looked up and his heart started beating fast.

"Y-You're beautiful." **[Take a drink every time you read someone act out of character, also isn't Mello only 14 right now?]** He stuttered, as his mouth twitched for a smile. **[Take a drink.]** Vanessa giggled. She took his chocolate he was holding from his hand and ate it. Mello smiled. **[Take another drink.]** Then Matt came in and dropped his DS **[Motherfuck you guys are going to be wasted before this is over.]** because he noticed Vanessa's embraceful presence.

"You're amazing!" Matt yelled blushing. **[Take another goddamn drink.]** Vanessa smiled and winked and Matt fainted to the floor. **[Oh for criminy's sake.]** The hospital picked him up as Mello kissed Vanessa. **[*face palm*]** Near saw everything and dropped his toy dice on the ground.

"SHES MINE BACK OFF!" roared Near. **[O.O...take twenty drinks.]** Mello squinted at him and killed him. **[...Throw him in the brig!]**

"Mine." He smirked. Years later Vanessa and Mello got married. **[Which did not last long because Takada's a bitch.]** Everyone was jealous of Vanessa. **[...*looks around*...*raises hand* I'm not.]** Mello killed anyone who would go against Vanessa. **[He should be in prison then, not out with the rest of society.]**

More coming soon!~ **[Bag of nope.]**


	2. Chapter Two & Review

One day when Vanessa and Mello were playing with their beautiful, perfect children, **[...When did this happen? I do not approve. Mello was only 21 when he died.]** because Vanessa and Mello were just as perfect, **[Uh, no.]** they heard an interruption from the TV they had on in front of them.

"Kira has indeed killed 23 more of our convicts we had apprehended for an act of illegal massacres." **[That news report seems very redundant.]** And so on.

Mello frowned and turned it off. Vanessa was scared. Mello hugged her tight. **[I am a robot. I am reading simple sentences. Make it stop.]** He then caught Kira the next day and they all lived happily ever after. **[*insert IMPOSSIBRU meme here*]** Vanessa could've caught Kira in 1 minute **[Stop flattering yourself, you're not fooling anyone.]** but she wanted to see how Mello did because since she was smarter than him **[Not even in your wildest dreams.]** she was bored so he let Mello do It this time.

Since the scientist invented a medicine for immortality before Vanessa and Mello died they got to live forever. **[How in the holy motherfuck were you able to contact Nicolas Flamel?]** Soon everyone was in love withr Vanessa and the girls were jealous of her, **[Still not jealous, neither are any of the female fictional characters that I've come up with. Especially not Twitchy. (Twitchy: "Mama, why would I be jealous of a whore?") *snickers*]** and sometimes they try to steal her money but Mello kills them all. **[...Shouldn't he be in prison by now?]** He said he would never kill Vanessa though cause she is the only person he loved. **[What happened to your best buddy Matt? Bros before hoes, man.]** And so on.. Mello stroked Vanessa's amazing red hair which flowed like a river. **[Ever since **_**Sleepy Hollow **_**and _Harry Potter_**** the only people I can imagine with red hair are Katrina Crane and the Weasleys'.]** Matt came in one day and proposed to Vanessa, but she smiled and said yes. Vanessa now had two husbands. **[You do realize that polyandry isn't acceptable in **_**any**_** culture right? In fact in some countries you can be publicly stoned to death.]** Then one day Near arose from his grave **[**_***'Cause this is thriller! Thriller night!***_**]** and proposed to her too.

Vanessa now had 3 husbands. Mello Near and Matt. Soon L will fall in love with her. **[This seems to be an evil plot.]** Stay tooned! **[Nein.]**

That's all folks! **[Only Porky Pig has the honor of saying that.]** Hope you guys liked it! **[Nope.]** If you guys want to see what else I have in store for me (Vanessa) and my husbands (Matt, Near, especially MELLO) please leave a like and a review. **[How about I leave you this commentary instead, I don't think I can fit all of my thoughts in one review.]**

P.S Vanessa is not a Mary-sue. Please get that straight! **[She is quite literally a text book example of a Mary Sue. No really, she's right next to Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way.]**

**I've got the review she wrote on **_**her own story**_** too. Bow to me, Minions.**

Review:

It's not a parody, it's real and how it would be if I were in death note **[*hysterical laughter* Ow, my ribs! *more hysterical laughter followed by rolling around on the floor*][Alt. Psst! Hey! Your ego is showing.]**


End file.
